Earthquake Redux

So I experienced my first earthquake today, here in NC: the 5.9 centered up in VA. All this reminds me of a tongue-in-cheek story I wrote for my ‘zine back in the day, when a similarly "ferocious" quake struck near my then home on the Florida panhandle. I remember actual news stories emphasized jars that fell off of grocery store shelves. Re-publishing below for your (or maybe my own) amusement.

The Great Flomaton Quake of 1997

At 3:35 AM on the morning of October 24, 1997, southern Alabama was struck by an earthquake (no kidding) measuring 4.9 on the Richter scale (really, we’re serious!). The epicenter was located near the town of Flomaton, just 55 miles north of Pensacola. It was the second quake in a few months to strike the area, the first being a 3.1 in May 1997, and was followed by a series of aftershocks. While damage was minimal -- a few jars at a grocery store and shaken spirits -- it was such an unusual event for our neck of the woods that we sent our roving reporter north to investigate. He filed this stunning, surely Pulitzer Prize-winning report on the devastating aftermath of this catastrophe.

“WE KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN”
October 25, 1997. The tiny pastoral community of Flomaton, AL, appears shaken, both literally and figuratively. Residents are haggard and on edge, not yet settled from the previous day’s tragic yet awesome display of nature. These simple people -- farmers, ranchers, fruit of the land -- can no longer trust the very ground beneath their feet. Despite the mercurial nature of the temblor, it seems to have been not altogether unexpected. “When that 3.1 hit in May, we wuz shook up a bit, but we knew what it really meant” said city councilman and postmaster Esa Burns. “We knew hat wuz comin’. The Big One.” Indeed, they were right.

Other residents expressed similar anticipation in the hours preceding the tremor. Said Clem Bradford, of Flomaton Livestock and Feed, “Well, you could tell somethin’ was up Thursday, the night before, because the sheep were nervous. I mean... moreso than usual.” Lay minister Eugenie Johnson likewise claims to have felt a similar sense of foreboding. “Of course, we knew it would happen. It’s all there in Revelations. The End Time is near!!” When asked if she felt that the earth’s movement was indeed a harbinger of the Christian Judgement Day, she fell to the floor writhing and began babbling incoherently.

THE HORROR
Later, in Brewton, a scene of utter devastation spreads out before me. The broken glass, the sickly sweet/sour smell, assault my senses as I come face to face with the casualties of Nature’s brute force. The earlier interviews with the locals did nothing to prepare me for what I now witnessed.

Steve, a stockboy at the Brewton Winn Dixie, related the story. “I was working late, pricing salad dressing. I heard a low rumbling, then the ground started to shake. I thought it was a truck. I had no idea what was happening. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something green. Before I could think, I jumped to the side, and six jars of spanish olives came crashing down right where my head was.” He continued to sweep up the broken jars and olives, a futile attempt at rescue and recovery. F.E.M.A. officials had not yet arrived. One could only guess that their resources were already overtaxed by the probable dozens of plates and dinnerware pieces cracked or broken throughout the county. Steve continued: “One second later, and I would’ve been a goner! Well, at least I would’ve had a nasty bump or two on my noggin.”

Others were not so lucky. “I wazza right next to the first jar to-a go” said Luigi, a 24-ounce bottle of Kraft Zesty Italian. “He was an OK guy. One minute, we’re… how you say... reminiscing about the old country. The next... I’m-a sorry. I can’t go on!” Jim, a nearby jar of pickled baby corn, stammered “It was horrible! My little safety button almost went!” An unidentified, surviving olive jar gazed down at the shattered remains of his loved ones, repeatedly mumbling “The pimentos. The pimentos. My God, the pimentos.”

BE PREPARED
Despite the crippling losses to Aisle 17 (“Ground Zero”, as the locals have dubbed it), one could say that this piney village was fortunate. Historical records indicate that an amazing 20 cases of olives AND 12 bottles of red wine vinegar were lost in the great quake of 1812. Modern buildings of more quake-proof design, combined with the recent proliferation of plastics in the food storage industry, may prevent such a tragedy from ever occurring again. Still, it IS best to be prepared. The following are guidelines for earthquake preparedness released by the newly formed citizen’s group, Flomatonians Against Yon Quakin’ Uv the Earth (FAYQUE):

1) Make sure your digital video camera is charged.
2) Verify that your YouTube account is active.
3) Move all briny foodstuffs to the rear of shelves.
4) Tune into your local AM talk radio station for irrational fearmongering (actually, this can be done whether or not a quake strikes).
5) Kiss yer ass goodbye, just in case.
6) Oh yeah, if a quake occurs, get under a table, or a china cabinet, or something.
(Editor’s note: Safety Guidelines 1 & 2 have been updated for 2011, to remove references to the show REAL TV, and something called “videotapes”.)

LIFE on MARS!

Recently, we've all been reading about the discovery of a "station" of some sorts on Mars by self-described "armchair astronomer" David Martines (and really, people, much more than just a "guy who recently discovered Google Mars and has way too much time on his hands"). This has been making waves throughout the scientific community... see here and here (nothing on Google Scholar yet). The station, named "Bio Station Alpha", is pictured above.

As a scientist (with a laptop), I have taken it upon myself to pick up the mantle of this rather important and astounding research. Believe me, I am as suprised as anyone to now report to you that I have already stumbled across what is perhaps an even more momentous discovery than that of Mr. Martines.

I've found the actual Martians.

Clear as day. Also using Google Mars.

This isn't pixels, or "cosmic ray streaks" ("experts" pfahhh!!). There is NO doubt!

They appear bipedal, and seem to travel in pairs. And by my estimate, they may be as tall as 800 feet! Perhaps the lighter gravity on Mars allows such a massive organisms to survive without collapsing under the their own weight.

While I am not quite the astronomer that Mr. Martines is (my PhD is only in zoology), I believe the approximate Martian coordinates at which these life forms were spotted earlier this evening are as follows: 1°13’14.59” S, 3°20’50.42” W (although judging by their scale and presumed locomotory ability, they may have moved several hundred miles from that location by press time).

So without further ado (I'm sorry, this can't wait on "peer review"), here is the first unequivocal photographic proof... not simply of a "space station", or some unknown structure... but of LIFE on MARS!!

And here's a zoomed in image:
Looking at the relative scale of these Martians, I now believe that the "station" discovered by Mr. Martines may not be a permanent structure such as a station. It may, in fact, be some form of temporary shelter from the sandstorms and otherwise harsh conditions and cold nights of the Martian desert.

It may, in fact, be a sleeping bag.

Miss Lana Rebel and the Broken Promises - King's, Raleigh, 5/26/11

This show show was an unexpected pleasure. It was a quiet night in downtown Raleigh, and I just went out to support the Red Cross tornado benefit at the Pour House, being a multiple Cat 3 hurricane survivor myself. But after a few covers from the GnR tribute band Appetite for Destruction, which was fun (but I've never been a big GnR fan), my usual craving for original music just became too much to bear.

So I had read about this country/western style act playing at King's, and thought I'd head down the street to check it out. I missed the first couple of acts, but caught Nightingale News and the headliner, Miss Lana Rebel and the Broken Promises. Nightingale News is the name of Broken Promises member Coy Campbell King's solo act (just found out he's only sitting in for a bit on this tour). His material was pretty somber, but thoughtful. His sound filled out nicely when Lana and other "Promise" Kevin Mayfield sat in, the latter on singing saw (he and Mr. King pictured here).
It made for a fitting opener to Miss Lana Rebel's act, in which King switched to standup bass and Mayfield went to guitar. The set-up wasn't what I had expected, thinking there would be drums, more swing, etc (but really, I hadn't heard of these guys, and only had the Independent's write-up to go on). So the arrangement made for a quieter version of a down-home honky-tonk act, which knocked my socks off. Miss Rebel's voice quietly soared, telling sad tales of loneliness, loss, and perseverance. Again, maybe I expected something more jumpy, but since when has country not had a rather large element of melancholy?

Not that the band couldn't swing at times. The bass was great and the interplay of acoustic & electric got some tunes really moving. But overall, the feeling was of a listening to a great jukebox on a little highway joint somewhere on your way out west, sippin' whiskey and contemplatin' the universe.

Like I said, it was a quiet night in Raleigh. The show wasn't heavily attended. But that's never been the best indicator of a good show. They got a gig at Slim's the next night, so hopefully, more locals got a chance to check them out. There's a lot of rootsy, Americana/Appalachain-influenced indie music around these parts, but not much country & western. Miss Lana Rebel & the Broken Promises brought some of that to town Thursday (more the western, I'd say), and we're glad they did.

The Love Language, In Residency at Slim's (Night 4, 5/6/11)

The Love Language closed out their 4-night residency at Slim's Downtown Distillery in Raleigh, NC, Friday night. The opening band was Lonnie Walker, who I have seen before and liked. But they totally won me over this time. Their sound reminds me of some of the 1990's Ghostmeat Records bands (Sunbrain, Tony Tidwell, Drive by Truckers), in feel if not exactly sound. Is it just me, or is Lonnie Walker frontman Brian Corum the spitting image of Paul Westerberg here?


After covering the Velvet Underground's entire White Light/White Heat album on Night 3, the Love Language returned to close the week with a mix of originals from both of their CDs. As with Night 1, the show was a raucous party. The small space was I'm sure fun and familiar to a band with the not-too-long-ago penchant for playing house parties (but maybe never again). They enjoyed every minute as much as the audience, as all danced and sang along to "Blue Angel", "Manteo", "Lalita", "Providence", and about a dozen others... probably about an even split between the two CDs.

The encore included "Pedals", which I'd not heard played live (and was beautiful). Brian from Lonnie Walker helped close the night signing "Louie Louie" with the Love Language backing, and bodies were flying everywhere (see last picture: off the monitors, over the crowd...). Slim's was definitely pushed to the limit on this night.

What a great band, club, scene, and all-around vibe to have something like this happen in Raleigh. After following idols like Arcade Fire and Guided by Voices around the country (and making idols of themselves to more than a few I'm sure), to come and host what basically was a 4-night party in such an intimate venue was a downright gift to fans and downtown Raleigh alike. Guitarist/producer BJ Burton says they're looking around for a space in Raleigh to record their third CD this summer; so hopefully we'll get another gift in the reasonable future (though they haven't played any new songs yet that I know of).

A few photos and a video below (the haunting "This Blood Is Our Own", preceded by some chatting with the crowd about the week). Pics are a little different than Night 1, as I only used a 80-200mmm zoom on night 4, which probably wan't ideal for the venue and show. Just thought I'd try something different on the second go-round.



The shirt, the shirt...

Too much of this...

...leads to this...

The Love Language, In Residency at Slim's (Night 1, 5/3/11)

This was the first night of the Love Language's 4-night "residency" at the small downtown Raleigh club, Slim's. The place MAYBE holds 100; your name was on the list when they checked off your ticket. All-in-all a pretty intimate venue for a band getting used to Coachella and opening gigs for Arcade Fire.

And it just demonstrates the energy of club shows. These guys are always great, but I saw them open for Phoenix at the Koka Booth Ampitheater, and here at little ole Slim's... and there was no doubt which of those shows packed the most punch (hint: THIS one...)
They played the self-titled debut CD in it's entirety, then came back for a T. Rex a cover with members of the opener, Left Outlet, and closed with Blue Angel, Heart To Tell, and This Room from their sophomore CD, Libraries (I think Brittany's Back was in there, too).

Just a picture dump here; no time to write more. The first pic has Missy playing with Left Outlet at the end of their set, where the keyboards got mighty funky! It was a GREAT show, and I'm looking forward to Night 4 Friday! (see bottom for a video, too)













And here's a video of Nocturne, a sweet, sublime song from the debut CD, in which the LL, in typical fashion, really rawked out with live.

The Elephant 6 Holiday Surprise Tour - 3/26/11

The Elephant 6 Holiday Surprise Tour passed through Raleigh Saturday night, playing Kings Barcade downtown. For the uninitiated, the Elephant 6 Collective is a group of musicians and artists loosely based in Athens, GA. It was started by members of the bands Neutral Milk Hotel, Apples In Stereo, and others, back in the mid-late 90s, when those bands were starting to make waves. It wasn't so much a label as a place for members to play together and support each others' art. Many Elephant 6 bands share or have shared members throughout the years. Some of the other bands falling under the umbrella of Elephant 6 include Of Montreal, Elf Power, Olivia Tremor Control, Circulatory System, The Gerbils, The Music Tapes, and The Sunshine Fix.

I remember back in the mid-90s, we at KLSU (Baton Rouge) were obsessed with Pixies, Superchunk, Sebadoh, GbV... the usual indie thing. But down in NOLA, WTUL was taking a more pop tack. They were playing these odd little happy/quirky records by acts like Of Montreal and Apples in Stereo. These bands were so far ahead of their time, college radio was even a little slow to pick up. But they just kept releasing and producing album after album of great psych/pop/weirdness. Today, I'd venture to say that more bands are influenced by Elephant 6 than by Nirvana and Green Day combined (okay, recording, touring bands, not 13-year-old kids in their garages).

I always felt like I missed the boat somewhat on Elephant 6, and Neutral Milk Hotel in particular. There they were starting in Louisiana as I was hosting a college radio local/regional music show on just a few dozen miles south. I remember hearing about this obscure little album from a Ruston band called "On Avery Island", but by that time, I was no longer on the air. For those unfamiliar with NMH, their CD "In The Aeroplane Over the Sea" is widely considered one of the best albums in the past 20 years (or best ever by many, myself included). I asked NMH-members Scott Spillane and Julian Kostner after the show why I may have missed them (only Scott was with them at the time), and they said basically that they only played house parties and in North Louisiana for the first couple of years. After 2-3 years, they realized they could/should start touring. Jeff Mangum (NMH's front man) may have played a couple of shows in NOLA, but I never caught wind of them, much to my chagrin.

But there's always time to catch up, and this tour was a great opportunity for that. The reunion/supergroup/whatever tour that is Holiday Surprise was more like a family event than a show. These people know each other well, having played together on many an album and in many a band. They're all multi-instrumentalists, and they're also very much into having fun. They started in the audience, as the performers (scattered among the crowd) sang/chanted "You're going on a trip / your mind is not quite fit / your brain circuitry's abnormalities have brought you this...", making their way to the stage in the dark, and kicking into the first number. They bounced around from song to song by various E6 bands, leaning a lot towards Olivia Tremor Control... several members of that band were represented. "White Sky" (from the Gerbils), with Scott Spillane singing, was a standout. So was the poppy "Holiday" (OTC). Julian Kostner demonstrated his mastery of the musical saw, for which he is apparently quite well known. It provided an element of mystery and magic, just as it has on several Elephant 6 releases.

Julian Kostner (NMH, OTC, Music Tapes) on musical sawWonderful stories were told, winter's end foretold (via a giant snowman throwing a snowball through the moon, with the help of an audience member), and the crowd was serenaded by a Mechanical Organ Playing Tower. Violins and various brass instruments were everywhere, the latter played especially sublimely by Scott Spillane.

Scott Spillane (NMH, Gerbils)But mostly, Elephant 6 just rocked out... in the high-energy, neo-psychedelic, mode that is their penchant. The closing (Sun Ra's "Enlightenment") was another "kumbayah" moment. The band stepped back out into the audience and encouraged us to sing along, repeating the words to teach us. It must have gone on for 20 minutes before the members of the collective marched out, parade-style... tubas, trumpets, saws and all. The show clocked in at over 3 hours.

Bill Doss (OTC, The Sunshine Fix)John Fernandes (OTC, Circulatory System)Although most indie-hipsters would never admit to playing the game de riguer of the night (and every night of this tour), they all were at least wondering: Would the notably reclusive Jeff Mangum show up, and maybe even play? No, he didn't make an appearance Saturday, as he did on the tour a couple of years ago. It's probably better for this tour, as his music is darker and of a different tone than most of the material they were playing. And the band didn't play any NMH (or Of Montreal, or Apples In Stereo) songs, either. The night didn't suffer for it, though. This bunch has a very deep catalog of good music to draw from, and it was a rollicking good time! Besides, for those into the Apples, frontman Robert Schneider will be playing a rare show in Durham (at the Casbah) in April.

So, all-in-all, the 2011 Elephant 6 Holiday Surprise Tour lived up to it's billing, and demonstrated that this collective of artists that has inspired so many already still has inspiration to spare.

Horns were blared......guitars pounded......and stories told.It was "Yip Jump Music!" (apologies to Daniel Johnston)

Wye Oak - Local 506, 3/12/11

Baltimore duo Wye Oak played to a sold out crowd at Local 506 the other night. Although they've been described as "indie folk", the word "folk" is probably more an artifact of the minimal cast and instrumentation. One listen belies that minimalism. They create a lush, sonically drenched sound that wanders between shoegaze and soaring pop. Think My Bloody Valentine... a pastoral Sonic Youth. Andy Stack works drums, keyboard and loops like he's been doing it for years (and I guess he has), creating a backing band all on his own. Jenn Wasner's crisp, clarion of a voice can be at once soft and intense, and is the focal point of the band's sound. But I hadn't really taken full notice the first time I saw them, that she can really RAWK the guitar. Unfortunately, after this second show of their tour (their first was broadscast live on NPR... that's where all the buzz bands go these days, didn't ya know?), Jenn's voice gave out. There were a few painful looking coughs between lyrics this night. So they've cancelled the next show or two on the tour. Here's hoping she gets better so the rest of the country can enjoy the great show they gave Chapel Hill.

Here's a few pics of the show.